Friendship: How to Really Become “Besties for the Resties”
There are lots of things that bring me happiness – traveling to a new places, eating blue bell ice cream until my hearts content, or binge watching old episodes of “I Love Lucy”.
But what brings me the most happiness? My Friends. Everything about them – getting to know them, being there for them in hard times, celebrating accomplishments together, laughing until we cry, learning new things together- the good, the bad and the ugly.
I attribute so much of who I am today to my dear friends. Below is what I believe has allowed me to create so many unbelievable friendships with so many different types of people. I’m not perfect and not every friendship is meant to last forever, but the ones that do are worth more than a mountain of gold!
Putting friendships at the top of my priorities has always been important to me. I have learned that for the average person making STRONG friendships, ones that have deep bonds, doesn’t always come easily.
I hope this is helpful to those who are struggling to make deep bonded friendships. I hope it reiterates to my wonderful friends how thankful I am for each of them. Everyday I consciously choose to invest in YOU, because YOU are worth it and because YOUR friendship brings me more joy than I could have ever imagined – I love you ALL!
1. Love Yourself
How can you expect anyone to love you, if you don’t even love you? Loving yourself is easier for some than others, but is so important to any successful friendship/relationship. What you love most about yourself will most likely be what others love about you as well.
2. Be Your Honest Self
Be yourself, everyone else is taken. Don’t try to be something you’re not or try to become someone you think people will like. This will just be confusing to the person wanting to get to know you (for you). Allowing someone to get to know your honest self is vital to deepening the bond of a friendship. That means sharing the good, the bad and the ugly. If you really let your friends learn why you are the way you are and what events in your life have shaped you into who you are, it will make all the difference. This can be scary and you may feel like it’s risky because, what if you open up and it doesn’t turn out to be one of those “lifelong” friendships? It’s okay, your story is your story – practice becoming comfortable with the events in your life that have shaped you.
3. Look Beneath The Surface – Morals, Not Mani’s
It’s great if you both love getting your nails done, but there’s got to be more than that. Having common interests will only take you so far if you are really looking for a deeper bond. Talk openly about what’s important to you and learn what’s important to them. Do you have similarities in your morals? These don’t have to align perfectly, but some overlap is definitely a good thing.
4. Put In The Time
Friendships are like relationships, they take work. Every friendship is different – some may need more time together in person than others. Find what works for you and that friend and make sure you are putting in your 50%. If you want to keep the relationship at a certain level, that means remaining engaged. What is going on in their life? Are they struggling with something or are they celebrating something? Being present for big life events is important and so special!
5. Make Real Memories, Memories That Will Last
One of the best parts of being best friends is that you can literally sit in the same room in silence and feel totally comfortable. While this is important, it is also important to create opportunities to make memories. Repetitive get togethers like dinner and shopping are great, but mixing it up is always a great idea. Whether it’s going to see a midnight showing of the newest 50 Shades of Grey Movie or traveling across the country together any opportunity to create memorable moments is a good thing.
6. Let Them Know You Value Their Friendship
Take time to remind your friend that y’alls friendship is important to you. Go a step further and point out “what” about them you value most. Life gets busy and there may be times where you feel like you’re not “being a good friend”. You haven’t seen each other in awhile, you haven’t chatted on the phone recently and to be honest you’re not sure what their current focus is. It’s ok, it happens! But make sure to take the time and let them know you know you’ve been MIA. Plan a time to chat on the phone or get together, even if it’s several weeks away.
True Friends Are The Greatest Blessings Of All